January 25, 2021

Lockdown Games | 5 Ways To Have Fun When You’re Stuck At Home

5 min read
Forget about tiers for the moment. You’ll be crying tears of joy after winning gold...

Forget about tiers for the moment. You’ll be crying tears of joy after winning gold at the Lockdown Olympics

Way back in March, when the first lockdown came into effect, did you think for one second that heading into 2021, you’d be sat reading this article about fun lockdown games to play at home beneath the shadow of more restrictions? Be honest. Everybody thought / hoped it would all be over inside a month, with normality resuming quickly just in time for a spectacular summer of sport.

Alas, that wasn’t the case. Instead, COVID-19 continued to take our freedom away, and then it did something much worse – it stole the Olympics.

Tokyo’s 2020 flame was extinguished with the games being officially postponed until the 23rd of July 2021. In this world of lies and deceit, do we believe that it’s still going to happen? We’re not optimistic.

This is exactly why we want you to start preparing for ‘The Lockdown Olympics’, the international sporting event that is performed from the comfort of your own home.

If you want every chance of representing your country / household – you will need to get to work fast and start training for the games. Here are five events you need to up your skills on.

Tea Bag Shot Put

Lockdown-Games

Before the first lockdown started, it was reported that 84 per cent of Brits drank at least one cup of tea a day. It’s now estimated that millions of us are consuming an extra two cups a day due to the national lockdown.

The Tea Bag Shot Put is a bit like the real shot put, apart from the fact that instead of pushing a heavy spherical ball, you’ll be using a 1.5 gram tea bag and trying to get it inside a cup of your choosing.

The Rules:

  • The kettle must be boiling before you attempt any throw, with you only having three attempts to get the tea bag inside your cup before your turn is over
  • The Tea Bag must be released above the height of your shoulder, and you must only use one hand at all times
  • You must be standing 1.5 metres away from your cup. If you overstep, the throw will not count and you will not get an opportunity to retake
  • If milk is put inside the cup first, you will automatically be disqualified and reported to your nearest local authority

Top athletes to watch out for in this competition – PG Tips Monkey, Mrs. Doyle (Father Ted)

 Mail Sprint

Lockdown-Games

We know life has been somewhat fast-paced as of late, but the ‘Lockdown Olympics’ would not be in anyway credible (this is what credible looks like) without a type of sprinting event. Obviously, in a confined place, nobody is expecting you to do the 100m anytime soon but a sprint to collect the mail sounds like the perfect way to pay homage to the ancient sport of running really fast.

The Rules:

  • Sprinters must be at the start line (the hallway) in time with the regular post-delivery and must be in a crouched position until the mail is shoved through the letterbox
  • House slippers are not to be worn under any circumstance
  • Once the mail is retrieved, you must bring it back to your original starting point, which is when the timer will stop
  • If you make any contact with the postman’s fingers, you will be immediately disqualified

Top athletes to watch out for in this competition – Usain Bolt, Your Dog

Run 5K In Your House

The announcements of the new tiers across the country have been overwhelming for many people, and you may well find it daunting to get down to your local park and do your usual 5k running routes. If you are worried about leaving the house for exercise, we’ve got good news – you can do it from the comfort of your own home.

Run Flat Boy Run | We Ran 5km At Home Because Of Social Distancing Guidelines

As you can see in the video above, we’ve already had a go at it. It only took Mpora’s very own Jack Clayton 5 minutes and 46 seconds to finish the run (sort of), obliterating in the process the previous 5K World Record of 12:35.36 set by Uganda’s Joshua Cheptegei.

The Rules: Rules? There are no rules. Just don’t step on your pets / hurt yourself.

Top athletes to watch out for in this competition – Jack Clayton, Mo Farah

The Netflix Marathon

Give yourself a pat on the back for finishing your at-home 5K. But now, it’s time for the real running time – the 26 hours and 20 minutes you’ll spend watching Netflix in lockdown.

This one will require intense training and then some. Alongside this, you will also need to get the correct food and drink intake if you wish to fuel yourself correctly for this telethon.

Once you’ve finished the Netflix marathon, by all means make a start on our list of the best adventure films ever made. There’s 99 of them on the list, and it’ll take you ages to get through them all.

The Rules:

  • Watchers must decide on either a TV Series or a selection of films with the collective duration of running time amounting to 26 hours and 20 minutes (let’s be honest, you’re going to watch way more than that but go with it)
  • Once in their seat, competitors must only leave their place for a snack or toilet break and must return within exactly one minute. We’ll know if you cheat
  • No looking at your phone. No asking what’s happening. Pay attention

Top athlete to watch out for in this competition – Jim Royle

Sock Golf

After all this time, you can at last tell your friends that you finally got that hole in one (they don’t need to know the full details of how you live). It’s time to turn your living room into Augusta as you get ready for the noble sport of… *checks notes* Sock Golf.

The Rules: 

  • Nine squares of A4 paper are to be placed around the house at different locations
  • To hole the ball (a pair of rolled up socks), you must land it directly on the paper
  • Your strongest foot will be your driver, your weakest will be used for putting

Top athletes to watch out for in this competition – Err… Tiger Woods?

**********

We have an inkling Lord Coe will be pushing for the real Olympics to take place in the summer. By then, the UK will be in the inevitable Tier 9. Special Air Service can shoot to kill but the schools, of course, will remain open.

Anyway, get yourself into a training regime and, who knows, you might just be winning gold at the Lockdown Olympics. Story to tell the grandkids, that.

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